We had our first visit and, if I'm honest, it felt a bit like hubby and me were a bit of a double act. I've never had to talk about myself for so long and, by crikey, we do digress the pair of us...
It turns out that this is first visit part one, part two will come soon when the Social Worker will meet our son.
Was it what I was expecting? Probably, just a bit of a fact find on her part, trying to understand our motivations, whether we had really looked into all the options or not. We have to go away and write a bit of a history of our childhoods (convoluted, in both cases!) and email them over to her.
Did I mention that potential spanner? We knew that honesty had to be the best policy (assuming that getting 'found out in the end' on anything would always be worse than being upfront in the first place) so we immediately told the SW about our previous debt problems and that we are in the final stages of an IVA (takes deep breath - that was some major sharing with you all there!)
I'm not sure she knew what an IVA was, and I think it was the scary word 'insolvency' that might have done it, but she thought that the team would probably not recommend us to go forward if we had not completely finished it.
There were valid reasons for us getting to that situation, but this isn't an insolvency blog and, frankly, I'm going to have to write it up for the SW anyway, I'm not doing it twice!
We did go on to explain that, in actual fact, the IVA was the kick in the bum that we had needed to completely re-evaluate how we lived. We have regularly paid the money that we have owed over the last four years, not missing one payment, not getting behind on our mortgage. Instead of expensive days out we go on walks and train rides, do some baking or have movie nights in front of the TV. We budget properly, save up for things we want and actually feel that we have a better quality of life now. We have even embraced that wonder that is the £9.50 Sun caravan holiday and we love it!
We think we can prove that we have enough money each month to provide for an additional child and, anyway, the process is so long that we will either be out of the IVA by the time we get anywhere near matching, or be so close that it makes no odds. We do have to be prepared, however, for them to say "come back to us when it is finished" If that is what we have to do, then so be it.
Other than that, however, she said some really positive things about us as parents and as a family. While we described our son she said that he sounded very similar to some of the children that they have to place. He is a wonderful bright, sunny, kind boy but I have always wondered about some of his traits, that he may be on the very lower end of the autistic spectrum - without me voicing this the SW said the exact same thing. I am fascinated to see what she thinks when she meets him. She thought that this meant we already had a lot of the skills that would be required with some of the children that they have in care.
I haven't said this before, but I'm a bit of a blubber. Hopeless, in fact. I fully expected to be tearful today, I have been in the past when talking through adoption. In fact my only 'moment' was when we discussed how our son has dealt with the death of his grandfather just over a year ago. I thought that was probably forgiveable!
Spanner aside, then, a good meeting and a lovely SW, thank goodness. There may be more waiting than I was hoping for, but we are on the path finally.
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