I need to give you the low down on how we got here. So, quickly, a little bit about us.
We had our little boy in our early thirties and around four years ago, when he was three, decided to try for another. For whatever reason it didn't happen and 18 months ago we took our first visit to the GP. Many mixed messages later, we were referred and set upon the path to IVF. Well, that's what they assumed anyway. It didn't appear that anyone could see any other option. It was a case of 'set desperate couple on the conveyor belt to the clinic and everyone is happy'.
We went to the clinic. We marvelled at the beautiful surroundings, the hushed elegance, the expensive cakes with tea. We paid rather more attention to the facts and figures and came to the conclusion that we would be parting with an unspecified (fees can go up as well as up!) amount of money for something that was, statistically, probably not going to work. We said no.
The powers that be were surprised. Confused, even. Offered small possibilities of this or that with little confidence and then, clearly, didn't know what to do with us.
We found our own way to the adoption agency, made our own enquiries, found our own contacts. The more I looked into the possibilities, the angrier I got with the fertility process. I wondered why adoption had never been given a fighting chance back at the beginning, why it was always the consolation prize when all else had failed? Why were we not given all the information at the start so that we could make a decision between the two then?
Don't get me wrong, I know we are lucky, that we have our little boy and others have no children - that for them IVF is the right option. But what if it isn't? Where do they get to make their choice when the medical juggernaut is pounding down the road to the clinic?
Anyway, rant over. I'm glad that I am so sure that we are taking the right step now. As always, I hope that this blog will chart a positive story.
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